I like to jokingly state that I am currently and have, for the past three years, been in a desert. The type of desert where I have not met anyone that I am attracted to. I have not met a man who seems to be the total package–on fire for Jesus, good looking, intelligent, tall, has a great personality, etc. The struggle has been daunting. See, the thing about being in a desert is that you tend to become a bit parched.

I did not realize how thirsty I had become until I met a guy who appeared to have the things on my list (my friend mentally checked off my list as the guy and I conversed). I was in awe because I had not met a man who I felt attracted to in a long time. AND we met while traveling! I love to travel! We sent a few casual e-mails back and forth, and something just did not sit right with me. You see, he is a christian but I had more than a few questions about his denomination, especially their views about women. And Lord knows that my husband and I must go to the same church once we are married. {that’s another topic for a later post} I began to wonder whether all of my time spent in the desert had caused me to believe that a mirage was the real thing. You see, just because something looks like water does not mean that it is. And with that realization our e-mails came to a natural halt. That experience taught me that (1) the thirst is real; (2) I needed to start praying for my husband so that I would recognize the real thing the next time around; and (3) I needed to start praying that God would prepare me to be a wife.

As I continued to walk through the desert it was just God, myself, and the sand dunes. {At least that is how it felt} That all changed one week when I attended a conference in a more metropolitan city. All of a sudden I was surrounded by intellectual, somewhat attractive gentlemen. I had been a while since I had been able to have a mentally stimulating conversation with a guy who was attracted to me and vice versa. I had never been one of those women who craved male attention, however, let me remind you that I was in the desert and the desert heat and solitude will do something to you. I drank alcoholic beverages that were purchased for me and shamelessly flirted. I was feeling a little tipsy and almost kissed one of the guys I was talking to. I almost kissed him and then I saw my ring. The ring that I wear on the ring finger of my right hand. The ring that represents the promise that I would not kiss or have sex again until marriage. {I do not think that there is anything per se wrong with kissing. However, every person needs personal boundaries. As a person who very much enjoys kissing, I have decided not to tempt myself and to save kissing for marriage.} I am so thankful that God always gives you an escape route. I am also thankful that I took it. See 1 Corinthians 10:13. I did not kiss that guy or any others. It was time for me to leave the event and head back to my hotel, alone. Hours later, it dawned on me that I almost broke a promise that I had made to both God and myself. The devil tried to shame me, but fortunately the voice of the Holy Spirit is so much louder, and as a result, I was left convicted and unashamed of my humanity.

Craving male or female attention is dangerous and can cause you to behave in ways that you should not. During those times it is most important to remind yourself of God’s love for you, who He says you are, and what He says you are worth. Because let’s be honest, not all attention is good attention.

There is no reason for me to thirst in the desert. There is no reason for me to leap at every mirage thinking that it is really water. None of that is necessary because I have and know the true source of water, the One Who can quench the most extreme thirst. Why have I been walking around the desert in search of water when the Living Water was always there with me?! See John 4:4-26.

Here is the thing, God did not tell me to search for anything or anyone, especially not my husband. If one of the characteristic traits that I want my husband to have is that of a leader, he will find me, he will search for me! Why? Because that is what leaders do. SO, the next time that I am approached in the desert and it is not by a man who also walks with the Living Water, I will see him for exactly what he is– a mirage. Until then, I will enjoy the desert and the Lord’s presence.