Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby. Let’s Talk About . . . ME

Featured

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sex has always been a topic that has enthralled me. While a virgin, I made sure everyone was aware that I had chosen to save myself for marriage. Despite my physical purity, I read erotica novels and loved listening to stories about my peers’ sexcapades. So, although I chose not to have sex while my friends bragged about how great it was, I could have authored a series of sex novels.

I waited to have sex simply because I was told that was what good Christians did. I was also afraid of getting pregnant. My mother was a teen mom and she made sure that I would not repeat her mistakes. My mother believed that if she, the quiet and reserved daughter, could become pregnant as a teenager, there was no doubt that I, the talkative and outgoing daughter, would as well. Ultimately, I remained a virgin because that is what was expected of me. Yes, it is really as simple as that. No, I did not stay a virgin because I believed that it was pleasing to God. I stayed a virgin because I wanted to appear to be perfect; it was all a facade. I felt pressured to be the perfect daughter, the perfect granddaughter, the perfect older sister, the perfect cousin, the perfect student, the perfect dancer, the perfect athlete, the perfect bastard child born to a teenage girl. Then one day I decided to rebel against those expectations and told my boyfriend (he was not my first boyfriend), who was not a virgin, that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. I wish that I could say that I loved him but I did not. Soon after, my family moved to another state. Let me clarify, the move was not a surprise to me. I felt free enough to rebel and have sex because I knew that I was going to move and would not have to deal with the consequences. WOW! Wasn’t I a manipulative coward.

Continue reading

Prayer for Deliverance from Addictions to Pornography

Tags

, , , , , ,

Lord, I pray against the power of pornography over ____’s life. Father God, pornography is an assault against your image, it is an assault against your children. Lord, I pray that you will deliver ____ from the grips of porn and pornographic images. Lord, I pray that you will erase the pornographic images from _____ memory. I pray that you will erase the lust- inducing images from _____ memory. Father, ______ is being tormented and God I know that You want nothing but freedom for _____. God, I am begging on _____ behalf. Lord, ____ worship cannot be pure until _____ receives deliverance. Lord, ______ ministry cannot accomplish all that it is supposed to if he is distracted by the shame and taunting of this sin. Abba, Father, you know that _______ is a ______ after Your own heart and that it breaks ______ heart to have to deal with this. Lord, please just go in and kill the lust right at it’s root. _________ wants to love but will not be able to love and be intimate as a husband if instead of seeing me as his beautiful wife he sees me as some porn star. Lord, pornography and lust will have no place in my home. If lust walks into my marital home, pure intimacy and vulnerability will not be welcomed, and that is not what I want nor what Your Word says that You want for me. Lord, I pray that internet coverage and WiFi will be nonexistent as to prevent access to porn and pornographic images. Father God, I know that You want me to release this freedom through prayer because You, through Your Holy Spirit, placed the need to pray about this, in my heart. I prayed a simple prayer before but this time You have quickened my spirit with urgency. Father, I thank you in advance for _____ deliverance. I thank you in advanced for the vulnerability and intimacy between us. I pray all of these things in Jesus’s name, amen.